Listening to "When Did You Fall" by Chris Rice thinking about uniqueness.
Yes my friend, I said uniqueness.
But more specifically, my uniqueness. It doesn't take a brain surgeon, a rocket scientist or the inventor of cheese to understand that I have always been unique.
Always. As long as I can remember. I have these quirks about me that make my personality one of those types that you either love or hate. I never really cared about it. I've never really had self-esteem issues like most girls. I think it's a gift. God made me confident so I can help girls who aren't. But still. My quirks even bug me sometimes. Let me paint a word-picture of myself for you:
My hair is insanely think. It looks like a lion's mane when I wake up in the morning.
I have a freckle on my upper lip.
I have an overbite and my my jaw is crooked.
I have a bit of a lisp.
And that's just the beginning. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. That would be insulting the Designer and I would never do that. But it's not just my appearance. It's also my unique personality.
I am not tact. I'm blunt. I don't beat around the bush.
I forgive but I don't forget.
I'm very loud. And obnoxious.
I'm a total klutz.
And again, that's just the beginning. I like me. I always have. But my uniqueness has tended to get on my nerves. And the nerves of others. Examples:
1) Last year I made an (air quotes) "enemy." His name was Seth (Un)Worthy (I made up the "un" part on my own. Aren't I creative?). We didn't hate each other right away, our dislike of each other just grew into a passionate one that came just short of hatred. I don't know why we didn't like each other. But I think it was because our personalities were so similar. We're both overly competitive. We both love attention. We're both overly dramatic. Thankfully though, I transferred to a different campus this year so I don't have to deal with his face anymore.
2) I vividly remember one day I went to the park with my little sister and we were verbally abused by three kids we'd never met before. They were blunt. They told us we were ugly and stupid. I sucked it up. I brought my little sister back home and never saw them again.
3) I have an ever growing rivalry with my best friend's little brother. He's two years younger than me. It's more of a love/hate thing but still. He and I have said to each others faces that we don't like each other and we move on. I try to ignore him though. He's just envious because I spend a lot of time with his sister.
Those are only the three most memorable instances though. I've had acquaintances tell my friends that they don't like me. There's a girl at my school who literally talks about me behind my back (or when we're three feet apart at our lockers). Even my family and friends have (lovingly) told me that I can be obnoxious. I won't lie. That stuff hurts. I've told myself I need to be tough though. I need to be the mature one. I need to suck it up.
"Sucking it up" however is not very easy. I'm the firstborn so I tell myself I need to be strong for my sister and brother. I thank my Designer that I am strong (I rarely cry. Not even during movies), but even I have my doubts about myself.
I remember one day I was so mad. I yelled at my Designer and asked Him why He couldn't have just made me "normal." He so lovingly responded, "Because I love you, and if you were normal you wouldn't be you."
Now I love my uniqueness. I can look at all the highlights of my personality and appearance:
I make friends very easily. I've never been in a fight with a friend before.
I've been told my eyes sparkle and my smile is infectious.
I'm 5'7" and loving it.
I have a wide array of talents.
And I've even been able to find something good about my flaws:
My hint of a lisp is similar to that of Travis Wall (my hero).
My naturally curly hair is easily tamed.
My obnoxious, bold personality can get rid of the posers in my life early so I can avoid heartbreak.
The freckle on my upper lip is like the Designer's seal of perfection.
I love how I like Lifehouse more than Adam Lambert, Aaron Tveit more than Justin Bieber and Joseph Gordon-Levitt more than Johnny Depp. I love how the littlest thing can give me an idea for a book. I love that my middle name is Grace even though I have none. I love that the Designer put time and effort into making me just the way He wanted. I love my uniqueness.
And, bloggers, I hope you love your uniqueness too. The Designer made you and loves you and thinks you're His best and brightest blessing. So the next time you doubt yourself or feel insecure, remember that your uniqueness is the best thing about you.