I've heard it said that an optimist is someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more like a cha-cha.
And just like that, a week that logically should have been absolutely horrible for me, wasn't. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
I got a cold last Sunday and still have yet to recover, my best friend moved halfway around the world on Thursday, I got sick in my stomach yesterday, nothing is working out for me. But at the same time, it's been good. Unexplainably good, actually. All signs would point to this being one of the most horrible weeks of my life. But if I'm being honest, it may have been one of the best.
Being an optimist is one of those daily choices we have to make, like choosing joy or choosing to believe what is good about ourselves. This one I think is the hardest. Sometimes you need to make up a silver lining to keep from becoming cynical. But when you do manage to push through and make the best out of the worst, you'll notice that your life doesn't suck quite so bad after all.
This week I watched The Court Jester for the first time. I got to spend time with many of my close friends. The average temperature reached over sixty most days. And I got to take a much needed walk with Papa.
"Talk to Me. What's on your mind?"
"Well, I'm still sick. And Dallas is gone now."
"But . . . things are still somehow really good. I get to talk to You, I get to be healthy eventually, I get to see him again someday. And while those victories may be far off . . . I still know that they're coming."
If ever I've had a week that was a cha-cha, this one was it. I'm exhausted, mentally, emotionally, physically, and occasionally I do doubt whether or not this season of lacking good health will ever end. But if there is anything I have learned, it's that I can't let fear win, I can let doubt rob me of optimism, I can't let one, two, three steps back blind me to the fact that there is a finish line and it is glorious. I keep moving forward and I cling to His promise.
It's times like these when hope is the anchor for my ever-wandering soul. Stronger than fear, shining bright through darkness, hope is what keeps joy and optimism alive. I hold on to hope like I hold on to Him, and suddenly, everything seems one heck of a lot brighter.