Uniqueness

Listening to "When Did You Fall" by Chris Rice thinking about uniqueness.

Yes my friend, I said uniqueness.

But more specifically, my uniqueness. It doesn't take a brain surgeon, a rocket scientist or the inventor of cheese to understand that I have always been unique.

Different.

Eccentric.

Weird.

Always. As long as I can remember. I have these quirks about me that make my personality one of those types that you either love or hate. I never really cared about it. I've never really had self-esteem issues like most girls. I think it's a gift. God made me confident so I can help girls who aren't. But still. My quirks even bug me sometimes. Let me paint a word-picture of myself for you:

My hair is insanely think. It looks like a lion's mane when I wake up in the morning.

I have a freckle on my upper lip.

I have an overbite and my my jaw is crooked.

I have a bit of a lisp.

And that's just the beginning. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. That would be insulting the Designer and I would never do that. But it's not just my appearance. It's also my unique personality.

I am not tact. I'm blunt. I don't beat around the bush.

I forgive but I don't forget.

I'm very loud. And obnoxious.

I'm a total klutz.

And again, that's just the beginning. I like me. I always have. But my uniqueness has tended to get on my nerves. And the nerves of others. Examples:

1) Last year I made an (air quotes) "enemy." His name was Seth (Un)Worthy (I made up the "un" part on my own. Aren't I creative?). We didn't hate each other right away, our dislike of each other just grew into a passionate one that came just short of hatred. I don't know why we didn't like each other. But I think it was because our personalities were so similar. We're both overly competitive. We both love attention. We're both overly dramatic. Thankfully though, I transferred to a different campus this year so I don't have to deal with his face anymore.

2) I vividly remember one day I went to the park with my little sister and we were verbally abused by three kids we'd never met before. They were blunt. They told us we were ugly and stupid. I sucked it up. I brought my little sister back home and never saw them again.

3) I have an ever growing rivalry with my best friend's little brother. He's two years younger than me. It's more of a love/hate thing but still. He and I have said to each others faces that we don't like each other and we move on. I try to ignore him though. He's just envious because I spend a lot of time with his sister.

Those are only the three most memorable instances though. I've had acquaintances tell my friends that they don't like me. There's a girl at my school who literally talks about me behind my back (or when we're three feet apart at our lockers). Even my family and friends have (lovingly) told me that I can be obnoxious. I won't lie. That stuff hurts. I've told myself I need to be tough though. I need to be the mature one. I need to suck it up.

"Sucking it up" however is not very easy. I'm the firstborn so I tell myself I need to be strong for my sister and brother. I thank my Designer that I am strong (I rarely cry. Not even during movies), but even I have my doubts about myself.

I remember one day I was so mad. I yelled at my Designer and asked Him why He couldn't have just made me "normal." He so lovingly responded, "Because I love you, and if you were normal you wouldn't be you."

Now I love my uniqueness. I can look at all the highlights of my personality and appearance:

I make friends very easily. I've never been in a fight with a friend before.

I've been told my eyes sparkle and my smile is infectious.

I'm 5'7" and loving it.

I have a wide array of talents.

And I've even been able to find something good about my flaws:

My hint of a lisp is similar to that of Travis Wall (my hero).

My naturally curly hair is easily tamed.

My obnoxious, bold personality can get rid of the posers in my life early so I can avoid heartbreak.

The freckle on my upper lip is like the Designer's seal of perfection.

I love how I like Lifehouse more than Adam Lambert, Aaron Tveit more than Justin Bieber and Joseph Gordon-Levitt more than Johnny Depp. I love how the littlest thing can give me an idea for a book. I love that my middle name is Grace even though I have none. I love that the Designer put time and effort into making me just the way He wanted. I love my uniqueness.

And, bloggers, I hope you love your uniqueness too. The Designer made you and loves you and thinks you're His best and brightest blessing. So the next time you doubt yourself or feel insecure, remember that your uniqueness is the best thing about you.

Wicked Movie

So rumors have gone around that they're making a movie out of the Broadway musical Wicked. And seeing as it is my favorite musical, I am very interested. Everyone is casting the movie with their dream cast so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon for once and do it as well. If they were to make a movie out of Wicked here is my dream cast.

-Elphaba to be played by Idina Menzel

If you've seen Idina in the role, you know why. She was the original so she set the standard for all other Elphabas to live up to and to this day no one has quite hit the mark. She's set the bar so high. She has an extremely powerful voice, a great range and superb acting ability. Not only that but she looks the way Elphaba should as well. One of the other popular picks for Elphaba is Kerry Ellis and if they choose her I will not go see the movie. She doesn't have the right look, her voice is annoying, her singing has a nasally tone and her acting needs improvement. Idina blows her away.

-Galinda to be played by Kristin Chenowith

For starters she can hit notes that should not be physically possible to hit. Both her singing and speaking voices perfectly portray the character and her acting is hilarious. She was also the original Galinda which plays into my choice a little. All the Galinda/Elphaba pairs have to have chemistry and Idina and Kristin have the best out of all those who have been in Wicked. Kendra Kassebaum is also great in the role and my second choice, and Ali Mauzey is my third but Kristin and Idina just do so well together I had to pick Kristin.

-Fiyero to be played by Aaron Tveit

Those of you who have read my previous blog entries know that Aaron Tveit is to me what Justin Bieber is to an "ordinary" teenage girl. Aaron is the only Fiyero who could pass for a college boy. He has the look, the voice, the acting skill and pretty much everything else Fiyero needs. I'm wondering what it'll look like pairing him with Kristin and Idina because they seem older than him, but I think he could pull it off. Adam Lambert and Norbert Leo Butz are both great Fiyeros but next to Aaron even they have to take a backseat.

-Nessa to be played by Cristy Candler

I'll get to the point. Her voice is genius! It doesn't even waver when she sings. She looks like Nessa should, she plays the part of the crushing schoolgirl really well and overall she's perfect for the part. I haven't seen many Nessas but out of all of them she is hands down the best.

-Boq to be played by Alex Brightmen

I've only seen a few Boqs but Alex plays the role really well. He has a good voice, he's the perfect height and he's really good at playing the nervous role. It's obvious how he's into Galinda and he's only hanging out with Nessa to impress her. He gets really into the character and I think he's better than any of the others.

-Madam Morrible to be played by Carole Shelley

The original Madam Morrible, she has the creepy look that's perfect for the role. Her singing voice is good too. But the way she speaks is what really sold me. She rolls her "r's" in a way that portrays the character so well. She almost has a regal air about her and I don't think any one else is good enough.

-The Wizard to be played by Joel Grey

He was also in the original cast of Wicked so his voice is the one on the soundtrack. After I heard his version, none really compared. There's just a tone in his voice that really fits the character. Plus he really looks like the Wizard should, short with white hair and older.

-Dr. Dillamond to be played by William Youmans

Aside from being the original William is the best Dr. Dillamond. He looks great in all the makeup. He looks like an actual goat! He has a good voice, he's a good actor he plays the character really well. I can't see anyone but him in this role.

There you have it. My picks for the cast of Wicked the movie. Fingers crossed it actually happens this way.

The Inner Workings of Charity's Mind

In all my fifteen years of life I've come to notice that you can tell a lot about a person (especially a girl) by which song they choose as their favorite. Choosing a favorite song isn't one of those things you just do though. You don't wake up in the morning and say, "I think I'll choose my favorite song today." No. A song just becomes your favorite because the lyrics are powerful or the tune is catchy or the message is one you love. Weird as it sounds, there's just some sort of connection between you and the song.

I actually have a gadget on this blog with my top five favorite songs on it. Scroll down the page a ways and you'll see it on the right under a picture of myself. The songs aren't really in order, I love them all the same, but my all time favorite song isn't on there. Playlist.com can't find it. It's called "Run Away With Me" from The Unauthorized Biography of Samantha Brown, Aaron Tveit's version (listen to it here). Why is this my favorite song? Listen to him sing it. Watch him perform it and tell me it's not perfect.

It starts out soft. Just a guy singing to a girl. The lyrics are so honest. He's singing to a girl named Sam about how he loves her and asks her to run away with him (hence the title). He tells her how nervous he is and that he knows running away is hard to do but he loves her.

So the lyrics are one of the reasons I love it. Another is the tune/music. It's not too showy or over the top. For the majority of the song it's just a piano and his voice. And it's perfect. A song like this one doesn't need a lot of fancy instrumentals to make it good.

But lastly is his performance of it. Go back and watch it again but this time just watch him. He looks at the same place every time as if Sam were actually there. He uses hand motions and facial expressions to act the part. I walked away from watching it the first time thinking, "I'll run away with you, Aaron!"

Yeah it's perfect. Not for everybody but just right for me. I'm in love with it. I really hope some guy sings it to me someday.

No Ordinary Girl

I'm the type of girl who prefers lime green over hot pink, jeans over mini skirts and Converse over heels. I'd rather have raspberries than chocolate. I write more than I shop. I prefer to talk in person rather than text. I know more about baseball than I do designer labels.

I'm the type of girl who will go to the mall to spend hours sitting in Boarders reading books. I'd rather play baseball than cheer-lead. I'd rather own a Jeep than a sports car. I'd rather work at a bookstore than a clothing store.

I'm the type of girl who'll spend her free time trying to get kicked out of Wal-Mart. I'd take a cheeseburger over a rice cake any day. I'd rather dance in the rain than worry about getting dirty. I chase after stray dogs more than boys. I'd rather risk humiliation for who I am than to be considered popular for who I'm not.

I'm the type of girl who makes up Plan B on the spot. I'm more obsessed with Aaron Tveit than Orlando Bloom. I cover my walls with my own works of art rather than posters of celebrities. I'd rather be called beautiful than hot. I prefer smoothies to lattes.

I'm anything but ordinary. I'm extraordinary. I'm nothing like others. I'm just me. I'll never be normal. But something next to normal is good enough for me.

The Age Old Tradition

Listening to "Once Upon a Time" by Idina Menzel wondering "What is it about this time of year?" Traditions reign supreme. It's hectic and insane. People who dislike it are referred to as "Scrooge" or "the Grinch." But if you think about it, there's probably sanity in that decision.

Unless you don't mind the same songs, the same colors, the same decorations, the same overloaded schedule year after year you have good reason to dislike Christmas. I for one love this time of year. I live in Colorado Springs in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains so normally around this time bipolar Colorado dumps buckets of snow on us only to take it away within the next few days. I for one hate the cold/snow so this works for me. But this year it's different. It's 60 degrees outside and Christmas is four days away. It drives me nuts. That plus the last minute shopping, overload of sweets, vacationing best friends and same TV specials have annoyed me to the point of referring to members of my family as Mrs. Nesbitt. I think it's fair to say that I've lost all sanity I once was proud to say I owned.

My little brother on the other hand has taken a bigger interest in Christmas than he has any of his past six Christmases. He has poured hours of his time into making us gifts with nothing but a few Sharpies, a stack of paper, a roll of tape and a stapler. He has much more Christmas spirit than I do.

I can't really figure out why I'm not into it this year. It's not that I don't like Christmas. I understand why some people don't but I love it. But as I write this the truth is becoming more and more obvious.

I'm growing up.

When I was a child I was a very Peter Pan like character. I was convinced I'd never get old. I'm a writer so I'm one of the few people who can spend their free time in holey jeans playing with imaginary friends. But as much as I try to avoid it I have to accept the fact that age is an inescapable thing of life. Even as a kid though I didn't think I would grow up, I looked forward to adulthood. I could eat what I wanted. I could get paid to write. Growing up was a grand conquest.

But now that it's happening I'm torn between not wanting it to, and thinking it's not happening fast enough. I'm fifteen years old and a sophomore in high school. I'll get my permit in January. I'll get a million more privileges in July when I turn sixteen. I'll be an upperclassman in the Fall. I'll graduate in two years, then go to college, buy a car, try to get published and start a family.

The thought is terrifying.

I guess I just don't appreciate Christmas the way I used to. I don't invent crazy schemes to find out what my gifts are before I open them. I don't wake up at 6:30 so I can open them. I don't go out of my way to get Mom to bake cookies. Now I like to be surprised, I don't get up until at least 8:30 (and that's if someone wakes me up), and I don't really like gingerbread cookies.

The only thing I can really do now is appreciate Christmas while it's still mine. In a few years I'll be making Christmas happen for my own kids. I'm not a kid anymore. I need to both accept that and enjoy my last few years under the Segovia family roof.

And so fellow bloggers, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a great time as a child or time with your own. Just remember the one Child who started it all.

Inspired By Those Who Don't Know My Name

Every writer has a muse. It's a normal thing. We all have someone whom we look to for inspiration to write. I however enjoy breaking stereotypes and so unlike most writers I do not have a muse. But I do have certain people who inspire me to the point of basing a character off of them or striving to be like them. Here they are.

Idina Menzel

Other than having one of the coolest names known to man she is extremely talented. She has gone down in history as Broadway's first Elphaba Thropp in the musical Wicked. And if her acting and singing abilities weren't enough to inspire me she is also an amazing songwriter. I say this with her song "Brave" in mind. If you haven't heard it look it up on playlist.com or something. I think it inspires me because it rings so true to my life. Yes there are people who deal with things much harder than I do but I too need to remember to be brave sometimes. This song is my reminder.

Aaron Tveit

Another Broadway legend (who's last name is pronounced Ta-VATE). He has played lead roles in Hairspray, Wicked, RENT, Next to Normal, and Catch Me if You Can. And he's only 26 years old. If that's not impressive, I'm not sure what is. His flawless singing voice and acting skill are the two main things about him that inspire me. But the number one reason is his interpretation of the song "Run Away With Me" from The Unauthorized Biography of Samantha Brown. It's not his song so I can't find it on iTunes (which drives me insane), but the video is found on youtube which is good enough I guess. Again, if you haven't heard it, look it up. It's the most beautiful song ever written and no other version compares to his.

Jason Wade

The lead singer/songwriter of the band Lifehouse gives me chills every time he hits a note. There's something in his voice that makes you know he means every word he sings. He writes or co-writes all of the band's songs which shows undeniable passion for his art. And his songs "Everything," "Falling In," and "You and Me" are sheer inexplicable genius. I can't listen to "Everything" without getting choked up, remembering the first time I saw the "Everything Skit" (found on youtube). And "You and Me" and "Falling In" are two of the cutest love songs ever written. Don't believe me? Look them up. You will be pleasantly shocked.

Natalie Lloyd

Brilliant author. Her stuff is amazing. Go read it if you haven't. There's something between the lines that makes it obvious how she loves to write. Every time I read an article or a book that she's written I walk away wanting more. Her book Paperdoll is a work of art. She makes me want to write. I already love to - it's in my blood - but her works of art just inspire me in a way that I neither understand nor think I ever will. And I don't really want to. Inspiration like that just isn't normal. But that doesn't make it any less special.

Travis Wall

He's not very well-known but that doesn't mean he's any less talented. He's a professional contemporary dancer and choreographer for the TV show So You Think You Can Dance. When he was competing on the show he danced a dance that is firmly implanted in my visual memory. Look up "Travis and Heidi Bench Dance" on youtube and you'll find it. I cried the first time I saw it and then created an entire book based off that dance whose romantic lead is named Travis. Just watch the dance and you'll understand.

I have many more inspirations: Gene Kelly, my Abuela, Chris Colfer, the list goes on. But I won't bore you with those details. The point is I may not have a muse, but these people come pretty dang close. Look up the songs/videos/books if you haven't. Maybe one of these will become your inspiration too.

Have You Ever . . . ?

I just had a sudden urge to write. I don't know why. Or what about. But my urges normally know what they mean. So I guess I'll write. *Dramatic Pause*

Have you ever closely inspected a spider's web? (Assuming you're not too afraid to get near one). I hate spiders. I think they serve no purpose. But their webs are truly remarkable. The one web that I specifically remember was one I saw this Summer in California. The web, detailed and beautiful as it was was suspended between two blades of grass. The spider that made it was smaller than the width of two toothpicks. It blew my mind.

Have you ever sat outside and admired the sunrise? (Assuming you're not a night owl who will sleep in until 1 in the afternoon). I hate waking up early. I need to get my rest. But when I do get the rare pleasure of witnessing God's watercolors sending streaks of fire from one end of the universe to another and reflecting off the Rocky Mountains I have no choice but to think otherwise.

Have you ever gone into a pool just to float? (Assuming you know how to float and you're not too afraid of the water). I prefer to be moving. I don't like to be so vulnerable to splashing little brothers. But when I'm alone and I can just lay on the water with no fear that anyone will attempt to drown me I feel so relaxed. I can listen to my heartbeat and know that God put it there.

Have you ever really stopped to consider what an amazing God we serve? Like just sat down and considered how spectacular He is? Do it now. Seriously. Stop reading my blog for a minute and consider what everyone should consider every day.

Doesn't it blow your mind?

He put the stars in the sky. He blessed the spider with the ability to create. He molded the sun with His hands. He painted the skies. He orchestrated the sound of your heartbeat.

Serving a God so big makes me feel so small and insignificant. But at the same time . . . so loved. He has to keep the universe running. Why should He have to watch us as we sleep to make sure we are breathing? He doesn't have to. But He does. And that knowledge brings me an immaculate peace. My life is in the hands of the One who created David, Moses, Nehemiah, Esther, Corrie Ten Boom, Martin Luther and Ronald Reagan. Not only did He have an amazing plan for each of them, but He kept them safe. I'm resting in the arms of the One who will never put me down.

I am incredibly loved.